Patience

Patience is a virtue. Patient people wait for good things to come and look forward to the future calmly, in the knowledge that good will eventually come.

We can assume that if you are being patient you are in peace with the future to come.

Patience exists only because there is a point of comparison, which is impatience. We can always envision a definitely perfect future. And the effect of the fear of not getting it consumes our precious present. Suddenly a mindset becomes: What if?

What if she doesn't like me? What if I never graduate? What if I don't get to work on time?

The answer is always another question and a string of solutions and alternative futures that our mind so skilfully develops and exhibits in a matter of seconds. We have been practicing this ever from the first time we feared an uncertain future.

You might have realized by now that, usually, when the future becomes present it wasn't that bad. And, even more than that the solution was simple and its execution straightforward. There needn't be that much planning. Your brain is quite capable of coming up with a solution to almost any problem or with the resilience to come back from the damage when a solution was not found or simply could not exist.

We then should re-visit patience as the ability to fight the fears of an uncertain future and to obtain it one must trust his/her own abilities to solve problems and to have enough strength, support and motivation to keep going if that future doesn't (or does, if you didn't want it) come.

When patience leaves you think about why are you really fearing that future or its absence, consider the value that would be missing if it finally happened and visualize yourself in a distant future. 

By the time you are an old and wise person you will realize. None of that stuff matters. Only love is worth your time.

The following ten seconds (a thought exercise)

Let's suppose you are under stress. You are struggling with daily life and trying to get good outcomes of what seems as a thousand variables. Happiness is the last thing on your mind and, as usual, you feel as if once you finish all those tasks and accomplish all those objectives you will finally have peace. Deep down you know the stream never ends. The to-dos and shortcomings never stop showing up.

What would happen then, if you took the following ten seconds? What if, for ten seconds you made a truce with yourself and simply stopped thinking about anything negative?

Happiness, I believe, is as simple as not having any fears because it allows you to observe the world around you. Which, with some practice, will give you the playful mentality that means being able to be amazed.

If you take the following ten seconds your future will not be dramatically altered. That thing that you might do right or wrong is still going to be right... or wrong. So there are two choices you can take after reading this paragraph: Close it and continue trying to find a solution to the problem(s) of life or follow me through a ten second meditation that might not change your future, but will most definitely alter your present.

Close your eyes, count to ten and try not to think on anything that makes you  feel bad. If any positive thoughts come to you, let them in. If you are in a position to observe something or someone interesting, do so.

Try it now and scroll down when you are done.































It's not that easy, right? If you didn't manage to stop thinking then try it again, until you can.

When you are able to develop the ability to take those ten seconds for yourself you can try it somewhere else. You will appreciate it when you get to a situation in which the future or the past should not be allowed. For me, for example, that sacred present is the time I spend with my wife and my baby. He will never again be in the stage he is right now and I consider every single second of his living a miracle.

Nothing should be more important than your happiness. You have the power of not allowing fear in your heart. You don't need it to solve your problem anyway.

posted from Bloggeroid

A simple meditation to stop worrying

Fear is a very paradoxical tool.

For one it is a tool that our brain uses to let us know of any danger; Physical or otherwise.

The other day I found myself worrying about work. I've found out that worrying about something is mostly useless; if you can do something about you don't worry, you act. So I wanted to find a solution to that feeling, I felt that if I stopped worrying I would stop caring.

So I started using an old tool: What's the worse that could happen? It is usually not that bad at all. But it didn't work. I still wanted to avoid the unpleasant situation (which was a social issue, I think...).

And so I started trying to find another, more powerful solution. It seemed to me that not caring about the size of the consequence was not enough, because I do care about that issue. It is a value of mine to be as good as possible with others and to have effective relationships at work.

The ultimate fear is the fear of death. All other fears, in my opinion, derive from this one. The need for survival implies the fear of death.

And that thought gave me the solution. While I worry, I stop living. Not enjoying my baby, which was in front of me at that time was similar to not being alive! Because why do I want to live if not for the good things in life such as my family and all the other blessings God gives me?

And so I decided that it was worse to lose that moment than to face the consequence of the situation that I was worrying about.

And as it turns out, I cannot even remember what the situation was, which serves to prove that it wasn't such a big deal to begin with.

Self Esteem

Self esteem is a name given by authors to the absence of social fear.

The only reason not to have self esteem is because you compare your past to other's past and believe it is worth less.

But what is the currency here? Do we all have a value that is set by our actions?

Perhaps that is why so many people look for money to fill up projected personal shortcomings.

There is no value. There is no price to your being it is merely a system devised by evolution to make you want to fit in, and survive.

As most other fears the fear of not fitting in is an illusion.

It does not matter anymore.

And if you think that self esteem is self love try this exercise. Could you love yourself if no one else existed?

The solution to this fear is loving others and learning that others will only judge you by projections of themselves so their judgment is based on their own fears.

Someone without social fear will not judge others and hence will not judge himself.

posted from Bloggeroid